


Secrets and Revelations

by isnonstop



Series: At Your Mercy [5]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - BDSM, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Hanukkah, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2019-02-13 12:05:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12983703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isnonstop/pseuds/isnonstop
Summary: Thomas may have his violin back but he was still desperately bored. And James’ textbooks are just sitting therebeggingto be read.So he does. In secret of course, because if James knew he’d be in massive amounts of trouble. And it’s going well.Until one day James comes home early.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this starts right after "Contracts and Arrangements" and continues until just after "Christmas Party". I'm not Jewish and while I've done lots of research on lots of religions I know I'm gonna fuck something up at some point so please tell me when I do so I can fix it.

Thomas was truly happy to have his violin back. And for the first few days, he did nothing except play endlessly in between completing the chores he had to do around the house. And it was wonderful. He'd been playing the violin since he was a young child and for a long time, it really was the only thing that could make him happy. 

When James came home the day after returning Thomas' violin he asked Thomas to play for him. Which the submissive did gladly, always happy to have an excuse to perform. Plus, it seemed to make James happy and Thomas would do anything to ensure that his dominant remained happy. 

But even his precious violin grew boring eventually. And it only took a couple of days for Thomas to once again grow restless and wish for something more mentally stimulating to go. 

It was a Wednesday when he finally figured out what he could do. James was exhausted when he'd gotten home and had barely spoken to Thomas all evening. He'd gone to bed early, leaving Thomas alone in the living room with the order to

"Come to bed when you get tired."

Thomas tidied up after dinner, making sure the living room and kitchen were immaculately clean before going over and sitting on the sofa. He'd lit a fire shortly before James had returned home and it was still burning, small flames dancing and casting a homey glow over the room. Thomas sighed as he watched the flames before looking around the room, gaze settling on James' bag resting against the desk in the corner. He stared at the bag for a moment before looking around the office space itself. 

_His textbooks'll be there. And his notes. And assignments._

Thomas wasn't technically allowed to touch anything in that little corner of the room that had been set up as James' office. Not the computer or the phone or the books. 

But he was so bored. And James would never know if he put everything back exactly as it was. 

Thomas stood slowly, quietly making his way across the room and stopping next to James' desk. He stood there frozen for a long time before finally reaching down and picking up James' messenger bag, resting it on the desk and opening it carefully. Inside were a couple of James' textbooks and the iPad he took to take notes on in class. Thomas took out the textbooks, resting them down on the desk gently. He glanced over to the door to the bedroom, listening to see if James had stirred; when he heard nothing he took a deep breath and opened the drawers of James' desk to find a notepad and pen. 

\---

For the next few weeks, Thomas would fill his days reading through the textbooks that James left at home when he didn't need them. He'd sit curled up on the sofa or out on the balcony reading and jotting down notes on the notepad. He'd make sure to put the textbooks back exactly how he'd found them and hid the notepad deep in one of the kitchen cabinets where he knew James would never find it. 

It was fun. And challenging in all the ways that Thomas found exhilarating. While he found he could mostly understand the information he was reading, he knew he was probably missing things since he was unable to attend the lectures that went with the written text. But he would make do with what he had since it was the best he was going to get. 

It wasn't until early November that he worked up the courage to snoop around on James' laptop to try and find the assignments for his classes. It was easy enough since there was no password - he obviously didn't think his submissive would even attempt to break the rules and go on the computer without permission - and James' assignments were neatly organized in folders by class. Thomas carefully copied out the instructions for each assignment into his almost full notepad. He'd need a new one soon. 

Once he'd copied everything down Thomas shut James' laptop back off, fixing everything on the desk so it looked like it hadn't been touched. With a quick glance at the clock on the corner of the desk, Thomas noted it was about time for him to prepare dinner. He sighed, glancing down at the notepad. He'd hoped to get started on one of the assignments but that would have to wait another day. 

\-------

James had been acting… different since the Christmas party. Thomas was on edge, waiting for his dominant to punish him for whatever had put him in such a strange mood. Thomas was used to the dominants in his life taking out their bad moods on him. His father had. The dominants at boarding school had. 

But James simply seemed to be avoiding Thomas. He'd come home late and barely say a word to Thomas while eating before heading straight to bed. The one time he'd offered up an explanation for his strange behaviour he simply said "finals" while chugging a cup of coffee and left it at that.

In all honesty, Thomas was happy to have the house mostly to himself. With James gone basically all the time, Thomas was able to spend more time working on the assignments he'd stolen from James. Although that was made slightly difficult since James took most of his books with him to study at the campus library. 

And then of course, there was the day James decided to study from home. With James home studying Thomas couldn't do anything even mildly interesting. He couldn't play the violin or do his own secret work. He decided to spend baking since it was the first day of Hannukah and while Thomas wasn't allowed to celebrate unless James gave permission (he didn't), the submissive was in charge of cooking which allowed him to make whatever he wanted. It was the one little thing he had freedom over and Thomas cherished that fact. He had decided weeks ago that even if he wasn't allowed to fully celebrate the holiday he could at least make the food that he loved as a kid. 

"Sir?" Thomas said softly at around noon, resting a mug of coffee on the corner of James' desk. 

"Yes, Thomas?" James said, not looking up from his notes. 

"I made you a coffee, Sir," he said softly, glancing at the notes James was using to study. 

"Thank you, Thomas," James looked up, flashing him a brief smile. 

"You're welcome, Sir," Thomas whispered, quickly looking away from James' notes. "Do you want something to eat, Sir? It's about lunchtime."

"Some lunch would be nice," James admitted, leaning back and stretching. 

"I'll go make you something, Sir," Thomas said, moving quickly back to the kitchen. James stood, grabbing his mug and following Thomas to the kitchen. He sat down on a stool, sipping his coffee and watching the submissive move around to prepare a light lunch. 

"Thomas?" James said, noticing all the ingredients spread out on one section of the counter.

"Yes, Sir?" Thomas looked over at him, pulling the sliced turkey out of the fridge. 

"What's all that for?" James gestured to the counter of ingredients.

"Dinner, Sir," Thomas explained. 

"What're you making?" James asked curiously, taking another sip of his coffee. 

"Latkes, Sir," Thomas explained softly, putting together James' sandwich. "Sufganiyot and brisket, Sir." 

"Any particular reason you're making those?" James asked as Thomas placed his sandwich down in front of him. 

Thomas hesitated before answering softly, "It's the first day of Hanukkah, Sir."

"Oh," James said, wincing slightly.

"I'm sorry, Sir," Thomas said, thinking James' reaction was one of annoyance. "I can make something else. I know I'm not allowed to-"

"No, no, Thomas," James interrupted, reaching over and gently rested a hand on Thomas' arm. "It's fine. No need to apologise." 

Thomas looked down at the counter, nodding slowly, "I'll make something else, Sir."

"No," James said, squeezing Thomas' arm gently. "Continue making what you want. I was actually going to invite a few people over for dinner tonight, sorry I forgot to mention - do you have enough for a few extra guests or should we go shopping for more ingredients?"

"How many guests, Sir?" Thomas asked, frowning a bit in confusion. 

"Four," James said, letting his hand drop away from Thomas' arm as he sat back. 

"I have enough, Sir," Thomas said, glancing over at the ingredients on the counter. 

"Good," James smiled, taking a bite of his sandwich. Thomas watched him eat for a moment before turning away and moving to tidy things up. James ate quickly, practically inhaling his sandwich and the rest of his coffee before standing. "I'm going out. I'll be back in a little bit."

"Yes, Sir," Thomas said, looking over as James pulled on his coat and grabbed his wallet. The dominant gave Thomas a smile before heading down the hallway to the door. 

"Oh, wait, Thomas?" James called, rushing back and peaking his head around the corner.

"Yes, Sir?" Thomas looked over, a bit nervous. James was acting strangely and Thomas couldn't figure out why. 

"Sundown right?" James asked head tilted slightly to the side as he watched Thomas' curiously.

"Pardon, Sir?" Thomas frowned a little in confusion. 

"Hanukkah starts at sundown right?" James clarified. 

"Yes, Sir," Thomas nodded. 

"Great," James grinned. "I'll see you later." 

With that he rushed off, the door shutting firmly in his wake, leaving a very confused Thomas behind.

\---

James shivered slightly as he left the apartment building, turning up the collar of his shirt against the cold. He probably should have grabbed a scarf before leaving and thought about running back upstairs to grab one but decided against it. He had a lot to do and not much time to do it, and he had absolutely no idea where to start. 

I should call Lafayette. They could help.

James pulled out his phone, thankful he did manage to grab his gloves before dialling Lafayette's number and pressing the phone to his ear. It didn't take long for Lafayette to answer, sounding a little breathless as they spoke. 

"James, salut!" 

"Hey, Lafayette, I need your help," James said, not bothering with pleasantries. 

"What's wrong? Is Thomas okay?" Lafayette sounded worried now. 

"He's okay," James said, walking quickly down the street towards campus. 

"What do you need, James?" Lafayette asked.

James didn't know the best way to explain so he just started rambling, "It's the first day of Hanukkah and Thomas thought I wouldn't let him celebrate but I completely planned to get him the stuff he needed but forgot and now it's tonight and I don't know what I need to get him and he had all these ingredients laid out to cook and looked so sad when he thought I wasn't going to let him and-"

"James!" Lafayette interrupted, sounding like they were smiling. "Slow down."

"Sorry," James said, blushing a bit. "Will you help?"

"Of course," Lafayette chuckled. 

"Oh! And would you like to come to dinner at ours tonight?" James added, turning a corner and narrowly missing running directly into a group of teens. "Hercules, Alexander, and John are invited as well."

"We'd love to," Lafayette said, not bothering to consult the others. 

"Great," James sighed in relief. "I'm on my way to campus now. I'll meet you outside your dorm building."

"Sure," Lafayette chuckled. "See you soon, James."

"Bye," James said, hanging up and tucking his phone back into his pocket. 

\---

"Is this really all we need?" James asked, clutching the shopping bag with the items Lafayette had just helped him purchase close to his chest. 

"Yes," Lafayette said, watching James with a knowing expression. 

"Do you think he'll like it?" James asked, peaking into the bag at the Hanukkia he'd purchased. "It's quite plain. I've seen the one his parents' have, it's very fancy."

"I'm sure he'll love it," Lafayette patted James' back gently. "After all, he didn't expect you'd let him celebrate."

"Yeah," James whispered, biting his lip. Ever since the Christmas party he'd been thinking a lot about the way he had treated Thomas since signing the betrothal contract. And as much as he hated to admit it Alexander was right. He'd been a complete hypocrite, going into lectures and defending submissive's rights to their own agency and then not allowing his own submissive the same. Truthfully, the thought had never crossed his mind that Thomas would want anything more; the submissive had always seemed, if not happy at least content with the life that he had. But James supposed he also didn't look too hard past the things he expected to see. 

"James?" Lafayette said, shaking James' arm gently. "You passed your building."

"Oh!" James shook his head, startled out of his thoughts. Sure enough, he was half a block passed his apartment building. "Sorry, I was thinking."

"About?" Lafayette asked as they turned around to head back. 

"Thomas," James said, glancing over at Lafayette quickly before looking away. "And how shitty I've been to him." 

"Ah, so it seems mon petite lion did knock some sense into you," Lafayette chuckled, patting James' back gently. "It's not too late to fix things for Thomas."

"I know," James nodded, holding up the bag. "I'm trying."

"You're making a good start," Lafayette agreed, following James into the building. "But maybe you should sit down and actually talk to Thomas."

"I will," James promised, leading them into an elevator and pressing the button for his floor. "Are Hercules, Alexander, and John coming?"

"Yeah," Lafayette pulled off their gloves. "They'll be here in about an hour. Just before sundown." 

"Good," James nodded, watching the numbers change as the elevator moved steadily up to his floor. When they arrived at the floor, James led the way down the hall to his apartment. He pulled his keys out, opening the door to the sounds of Thomas cooking. 

"Thomas?" James called, resting the bag down on the floor to take off his coat and shoes. 

"Yes, Sir?" Thomas said, rounding the corner to stand at the end of the hallway. His eyes widened a bit at the sight of Lafayette standing next to James, grinning brightly at him. 

"Hey, Thomas," Lafayette smiled, hanging up their coat next to James'. 

"You can talk to them, Thomas," James said softly when Thomas didn't respond. "In fact, you've always got permission to talk to them or anyone else you want to, okay?"

"Yes, Sir," Thomas whispered. "Hi, Laf."

"James invited me over for dinner," Lafayette said, kicking their shoes to the side before moving over to give Thomas a hug. "I heard you're making brisket. Is it Bubbe's recipe?"

"Yes," Thomas nodded, smiling as he hugged them back. 

"Awesome!" They grinned. "I haven't had that since I was a kid."

"Thomas?" James said softly, moving over to the pair with the shopping bag in hand. His heart clenched slightly at the way Thomas stiffened when he spoke. "I've got something for you. Here." 

James held out the shopping bag, waiting patiently as Thomas hesitated for a moment before taking it. He watched as his submissive opened the bag, noting the way Thomas' eyes widened with surprise and excitement at the sight of the Hanukkia. 

"Oh," Thomas breathed, gently pulling the Hanukkia and candles out of the bag, staring down at them in wonder. James had never seen Thomas look so excited, not even when he returned the submissive's violin, and he found himself smiling brightly. 

"Do you like it?" James asked. "I know it's not as fancy as your parents' one, but we can get a nicer one for next year." 

"It's lovely, Sir, thank you," Thomas whispered, holding the Hanukkia close to his chest. 

"You're welcome, Thomas," James said softly. "I'm sorry if I made you think you wouldn't be allowed to celebrate your holidays. We should have talked about this when we first signed the contract, but please know that you are always free to practice your religion in our home. And if you need anything to do so or want to go to any events or synagogue or whatever tell me and I'll arrange it okay?"

"Yes, Sir," Thomas breathed, looking down at his feet. James noticed the way tears welled up in his submissive's eyes and he wanted nothing more than to hug him. But he doubted that would be welcome. 

Better to let Lafayette comfort him.

"I'm going to go study a bit more in the bedroom," James said softly. "Give you and Lafayette some privacy." 

"You don't have to do that, Sir," Thomas said, taking a deep breath as he looked up. "It's your apartment."

"Our apartment," James corrected gently. "I need to get a bit more studying done before the others get here anyway."

"Who else is coming, Sir?" Thomas asked, still holding the Hanukkia close to his chest. 

"My dominant, Hercules," Lafayette said, leaning into Thomas side. "And mes amis Alexander and John. You met them at the Christmas party."

"Oh, okay," Thomas said, nodding slowly as he looked back down at the Hanukkia. 

"Call me when they get here," James said, slipping past Thomas and Lafayette to disappear into the bedroom. 

\---

Thomas was surprised by how well that evening had gone. He loved having people over, especially Lafayette, and everyone seemed to really enjoy the night. The conversation was light and fun; Lafayette even managed to draw Thomas out and get him to talk without having been asked a direct question. The food had been a massive hit and no one sad a single unkind word about Thomas performing the usual Hanukkah rituals.

After everyone had left and he was tidying up he kept glancing over at the Hanukkia sitting on the fireplace mantel, half expecting it to just disappear and this to have all been a dream. 

"Thomas?" James said softly, watching as Thomas put the last of the dishes in the dishwasher and turned it on.

"Yes, Sir?" Thomas said softly turning to him. 

"Tomorrow, when you light the candles will you teach me how?" James asked, an open and sincere expression on his face. A shot of surprise coursed through Thomas at James' words, not at all expecting his dominant to want to learn anything about his religion. 

"May I ask why, Sir?" Thomas whispered, nervously fiddling with his shirt sleeves.

"Because your religion is important to you," James said softly, taking a step towards Thomas before stopping. "And you're important to me."

Thomas swallowed, feeling tears prick at the back of his eyes for the second time that evening. 

"Thomas," James whispered, moving over to the submissive's side slowly and taking his hand. "After finals are over we're going to sit down and talk. There are lots of things we need to discuss."

Thomas swallowed, staring down at where James held his hand. He let out a shaky breath before nodding slowly. 

"Good," James squeezed Thomas' hand gently before letting go. "Come on, it's late. Let's go to bed." 

Thomas let James pull him into the bedroom, throwing one last glance over his shoulder at the Hanukkia. 

\---

Over the rest of Hanukkah, James went out and studying in the library on campus or at friends houses, leaving Thomas alone once again to work on his self-assigned work. Every day James would return exactly one hour before sundown so he was there in time to help Thomas light the candles and say the blessings. Even after four days, it still surprised Thomas when James showed genuine interest in learning about the rituals and story of Hanukkah. Thomas guessed he'd done some of his own research when he showed up on the third day with a dreidel and some gelt and insisted that Thomas teach him how to play. It was nice, being able to share his religion with his dominant in a way that he never expected to do. For the first time since moving in with James, Thomas actually felt like he was happy for more than fleeting moments. 

But Thomas knew it couldn't last. 

He was sat on the couch, notepad in his lap and one of James' textbooks open on the coffee table. He'd managed to steal another of James' extra notepads without raising suspicion and was using this one to write out his essay responses to the assignments he'd copied from the dominant's computer. 

He'd gotten caught up in the essay he was writing and lost track of time. And failed to notice the sound of the door being opened or James' footsteps as he made his way down the hall. 

"Thomas?" 

The sound of his dominant's voice made Thomas freeze, entire body stiffening as terror settled into his stomach. 

"Thomas," James repeated, stepping a bit closer. "What are you doing?" 

Thomas wanted to speak, wanted to answer but he couldn't. His words caught in his throat, breath coming out in erratic bursts as he tried desperately to stay calm. 

_Just apologise and accept your punishment. Kneel. Doms like when you kneel._

Thomas pushed the notebook off his lap, sliding off the couch and kneeling at James' feet. He closed his eyes as he bowed forward and pressed his forehead against James' sock-clad feet in the most submissive position he knew. 

"I'm sorry, Sir," Thomas whispered, hands shaking slightly as he pressed them into the floor at his sides. "Please punish me however you see fit."

"Thomas," James sounded concerned, not angry which confused Thomas immensely. "Thomas, get up." 

James reached down, resting a hand on Thomas' shoulder making the submissive flinch. But James didn't hurt him, just gently pushed him into a sitting position before grabbing the submissive's arm lightly and pulling him to stand. 

"Thomas, look at me please," James said, a gentle hand resting on the submissive's cheek. Thomas swallowed as he looked up, eyes filled with tears as he met James' gaze. "I'm not angry. I'm not angry and I'm not going to punish you. I'm just a bit confused so let's make some tea and then we can talk okay?"

Thomas gave a shaky nod, exhaling slowly as he willed his body to relax. He wasn't perfectly successful but he managed to unclench enough to move across the room to the kitchen to prepare the tea. 

"Make yourself some as well," James said softly, watching Thomas pull only a single mug from the cabinet. "Or coffee if you prefer. Or hot chocolate. Just make yourself a warm drink, okay? It'll help you calm down. I'm going to change out of these clothes, I got wet on the way home. When you've made the drinks sit down on the couch and wait for me. I'll be right out."

"Yes, Sir," Thomas whispered, pulling the second mug from the cabinet. His hands were shaking slightly as he prepared the drinks, making them both some of the herbal tea James loved. Once the drinks were made he carried them over to the living room, resting them down gently on the coffee table before taking a seat on the edge of the sofa. He grabbed his notebooks and James' textbook, carefully stacking them onto the coffee table beside the dominant's drink. 

"Okay," James sighed a couple minutes later, exiting the bedroom now dressed in a pair of sweatpants and t-shirt with a folder in his hand. "We obviously need to talk about some things." He sat down across from Thomas, placing the folder on the table. 

"I'm sorry for breaking the rules, Sir," Thomas said softly, watching his dominant wearily. 

"Thomas, please stop apologising," James said, grabbing his mug and taking a sip of the tea. "I'm not angry. And those rules you mentioned about are something we need to discuss." He gestured to the folder on the coffee table. "Do you know what that is, Thomas?"

Thomas looked at the folder, recognising it, "Yes, Sir. It's a copy of our betrothal contract."

"Right," James nodded, putting down his mug and picking up the folder. "Or rather, it was our betrothal contract."

Thomas' heart stopped. Was. Was our betrothal contract. James was breathing the contract. He was sending Thomas back to his father. He-

"Hey, Thomas," James had moved to sit next to him on the sofa, resting a gentle hand on the submissive's leg to get his attention. Thomas jumped, sliding off the couch and kneeling at James' feet.

"I'm sorry, Sir. Please forgive me. Please don't break our contract. I'll be good, I swear. Punish me however you see fit, Sir. Please, don't send me back to my father."

"Thomas, no," James pulled Thomas back up onto the couch, gently cupping the shaking submissive's cheeks. "I'm not breaking our contract. Well, I am-" Thomas flinched, whimpering softly, "But not the way you're thinking. I'm not sending you back to your father."

"Please, Sir," Thomas whimpered, looking at James through tear filled eyes. 

"I'm not sending you back," James promised softly. "Listen to me, Thomas. I'm breaking this contract so we can write up a new one. A better, more fair one."

"What?" Thomas breathed, confusion written all over his face. 

"This contract," James said softly, reaching over and grabbing the document off the table. "Is archaic. And completely unfair to you. And I'm sorry it's taken me so long to realise that. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to realise how badly I've been treating you. And I'm sorry it had to be pointed out to me repeatedly by others and I couldn't just open my eyes and see how miserable you were. But I know now, and I'm going to do everything I can to make things better for you, okay?" 

James gave Thomas a sad smile, one thumb gently stroking Thomas' cheek as he rested the contract on the sofa beside them. "I want you to be happy, Thomas. I know I've been a really shitty dominant and a really shitty person over these last few months but I want to, at the very least, be friends if not more. I won't send you back to your father - I know how he would react and that wouldn't be fair to you. So I'll continue to be your dominant, even if it's only on paper. And if there comes a time that you find someone you'd rather be with I'll gladly give up my claim to you."

"Why?" Thomas whispered, voice only a little shakey.

"Because you're a person and you should get to decide who you spend your life with," James whispered, hand dropping away from Thomas' cheek to pick up the contract. "We have to keep this for our parents' sake so they don't try to take you away. But from now on nothing in this contract still stands. Forget all these rules and act how you want to act, Thomas. Until and unless you decide otherwise I am only your dominant on paper."

Thomas watched James, eyes wide with shock and fear and hope. He had so many thoughts swirling through his mind that he couldn't even begin to decipher them. He let out a shaky breath, letting his chin drop to his chest as his shoulders shook with silent sobs. An overwhelming sense of relief washed over him. 

"I'm going to enrol you at Columbia for next semester," James continued softly. "I've already got the paperwork sorted out. And I'll figure out an excuse to tell our fathers. I've also arranged for you to stay in a dorm on campus if you'd prefer instead of staying here." 

"You want me to move out?" Thomas whispered, sniffling slightly. 

"No," James said gently. "I know I don't know you very well, Thomas, and that is entirely my fault, but I do really want you around. But, I also want you to be happy and comfortable. So if you'd be more comfortable living on campus then that's where you should be. I'll deal with our parents."

Thomas swallowed, nodding slowly, "I want to stay here."

"Okay," James whispered. "But if you change your mind, please tell me."

Thomas gave another small nod, looking down at the contract resting on the sofa next to them. 

"I would burn it if I could," James whispered, watching Thomas. "But if your father found out I did that it would be grounds to take you away."

"Yeah," Thomas whispered, rubbing his eyes. He felt exhausted all of a sudden. 

"But our wedding contract will be better," James promised. "We will write it ourselves and it will be fair." 

"Okay, Sir," Thomas whispered, yawning.

"James," James corrected gently. "Call me James, please Thomas."

"Okay, James," Thomas said softly, the barest hint of a smile spreading across his lips. 

"You look exhausted," James said softly. "Why don't you go to bed and get some rest."

"But your dinner," Thomas said, looking up. "I haven't made anything."

"I can fend for myself, Thomas, I'm a big boy," James said, smiling. "Plus, you don't have to cook for me anymore. You don't have to do anything anymore, okay? Not unless you want to."

"I like cooking," Thomas whispered, yawning again. 

"We'll figure out a system then," James promised, standing and gently pulling Thomas to his feet. "But for now, you go rest." 

"Okay, Si- James," Thomas whispered, heading into the bedroom. He paused at the doorway, not sure if he should shut it or not. Previously if he went to bed before James he never shut the door since he wasn't allowed to. But now he wasn't sure. 

"Shut it if you want, Thomas," James said, watching him. "The contract doesn't apply anymore. If you want the privacy then shut the door."

Thomas stood there for a moment thinking before deciding to leave the door opened. He'd grown used to the sounds of James and wasn't sure he'd be able to sleep without them. 

"Good night, James," Thomas whispered, glancing over at the dominant one last time.

"Good night, Thomas," James said, picking up his tea and sipping it. "Sleep well."

James had said the same thing every night since they moved in together but this was the first night Thomas thought he'd actually be able to do just that. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to [BookMeDanny](http://archiveofourown.org/users/BookMeDanny/pseuds/BookMeDanny) for correcting me about the proper name for the candelabrum used during Hanukkah.


	2. Alternate Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An alternate ending to the story. 
> 
> In this version, James didn’t take a break to have lunch the day Thomas was cooking everything for Hanukkah. He never even noticed that it was the first day of Hanukkah. He has been too focused on studying for exams to notice anything or give really any thought to what Alexander said at the Christmas party. 
> 
> Things are mostly the same for the beginning (minus the Hanukkah celebration - Thomas ends up eating dinner alone when James goes to study at a friend's). 
> 
> The end when James catches Thomas studying is different - very different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings: PLEASE READ THESE BEFORE THE CHAPTER**
> 
>  
> 
> **Domestic Abuse. Past child abuse. Rape threats (brief but there). All hurt/no comfort. Victim blaming.**
> 
> If any of those things trigger you, probably best to avoid this one. 
> 
> James is **very** not nice in this one. 
> 
> This is a much darker version of how things could have gone if I was more sadistic. But I love happy endings and jeffmads too much to have this in the actual "canon" of the series. But please enjoy this AU of my AU.

Thomas was sat on the couch, notepad in his lap and one of James' textbooks open on the coffee table. He'd managed to steal another of James' extra notepads without raising suspicion and was using this one to write out his essay responses to the assignments he'd copied from the dominant's computer. 

He'd gotten caught up in the essay he was writing and lost track of time. And failed to notice the sound of the door being opened or James' footsteps as he made his way down the hall. 

It wasn't until a book was dropped onto the coffee table, landing with a loud thump that caused Thomas to jump and look up sharply, that Thomas noticed someone was there. Terror filled Thomas as he stared at his dominant, completely frozen and unable to react. 

James stood on the other side of the coffee table, arms crossed over his chest as he glared at his submissive. He looked exhausted and angry in equal measure. Thomas had never seen James this angry, truthfully had never seen him be anything but mildly annoyed at worst, and it was terrifying in ways he couldn't properly articulate if asked. 

"What do you think you're doing?" James asked, voice low and hard. It reminded Thomas of the time his father caught him snooping around in the library at Monticello. He'd ended up with a slip lip and a scar on his left shoulder for his impertinence. 

_I wonder if James will add another._

"Thomas!" James snapped, obviously annoyed that his submissive had not answered promptly. "Answer me."

"I'm sorry, Sir," Thomas managed to say, fighting hard to keep the terror out of his voice. He failed. 

"That doesn't answer my question, submissive," James narrowed his eyes, taking a step around the coffee table to get closer to Thomas. "What do you think you're doing with my textbooks?"

Thomas swallowed, leaning back slightly where he was sat, wide eyes watching James. "Reading, Sir."

"Reading?" James repeated, stepping over and grabbing Thomas' hair. He ignored the submissive's gasp of pain as he pulled Thomas off the couch and down to his knees. Thomas managed to bit back a yelp as his knees slammed into the floor. "And tell me, submissive, are you allowed to touch my things without permission?"

"No, Sir," Thomas whispered, shutting his eyes to fight back tears. Crying would just make things worse. "I'm sorry, Sir."

"Oh you will be," James growled, releasing Thomas' hair and shoving him backwards. Thomas fell back against the coffee table, hitting his shoulder and crying out in pain. James barely spared Thomas a glance as he turned and stormed into the bedroom. 

Thomas sat up, rubbing his throbbing shoulder as he listened to his dominant angrily dig around in the closet. Thomas guessed James was looking for the box of punishment tools James' father had given him when they moved to New York. The box had been shoved to the back of the closet when they moved it and Thomas had given James no reason to use it since.

_Until today._

"Come!" James called from the bedroom, the sound of the box being dropped on the floor making Thomas jump. He scrambled to his feet, hurrying to open James' command. He didn't want to make his dominant angrier than he already was. 

"Strip," James commanded as soon as Thomas entered the room. He was stood at the foot of the bed, hands on his hips as he watched his submissive. His entire body language screamed anger and Thomas fought very hard not to cower away from him. 

" _Now_ ," James growled when Thomas didn't immediately obey, sending another shiver of fear down Thomas' spine as he hastily pulled his shirt off and dropped it onto the floor. His pants and socks quickly followed, leaving him standing there in only his boxers. 

"All of it," James narrowed his eyes slightly. "Or are you too stupid to follow a simple order, submissive?"

Thomas flinched, ducking his head as he pulled off his boxers as well. This was not the way he imagined the first time he was naked and both of them awake would go. Although Thomas slept naked every night since moving in with James - as his contract dictated - he always went to be long before James or long after and was always up before his dominant. And since James had always laid out Thomas' outfit for the day the night before, Thomas had never had to be naked in front of his dominant while they were both awake.

"Come here," James said, grabbing a pair of cuffs connected by a small metal chain from the box and watching as Thomas walked over slowly. "Hands."

Thomas swallowed, extending his arms to James. The cuffs were wrapped around his wrist and locked with a definitive click, making Thomas flinch slightly. James gripped his chin, holding Thomas firmly and forcing the submissive to look him in the eye.

"You're in so much trouble," James said quietly, voice low and dangerous. "You're lucky there's no whip in the box my father gave me."

Thomas flinched, tears welling up in his eyes as he stared at James. The dominant gave a dry chuckle, releasing Thomas' chin and pushing him back so he collided into the bedpost. 

"There's no use crying. You've brought this on yourself," James said, turning away from Thomas briefly to grab the wooden cane from the box. Thomas choked back a sob as James turned to him. This wasn't the first time he'd been caned before - it was a particular favourite of his father's when he was a child - and Thomas was very aware of just how much it hurt. 

"Bend over the bed," James said, holding the cane firmly in his left hand as he waited for his submissive to obey. When Thomas didn't move immediately James hit the cane against the foot of the bed making Thomas jump and whimper in fear. "Now, submissive, or do you want to add to your punishment?"

"No, Sir," Thomas whispered, moving quickly to obey. He bent over the bed, hands shaking as he gripped the sheets tightly. Thomas listened as James moved to stand behind him. 

"Why are you being punished?" James asked, voice stern and commanding. 

Thomas barely managed to hold back a sob as he answered, "Because I touched your things without permission, Sir."

"You did and for that, you will receive thirty strokes." 

Thomas flinched, whimpering softly. The most he'd received during a caning from his father's hand was twenty-five and that had left him bruised and unable to sit for a week. 

"You will count each one out loud," James continued, ignoring (or completely oblivious to) his submissive's distress. "If you lose count we start again. Understand?"

"Yes, Sir," Thomas whispered, swallowing hard around the lump of fear in his throat. He heard James shift position behind him and squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for the first blow.

When it came, it took all of Thomas' will to not scream. James was not holding back in the slightest and the blow hurt more than Thomas remembered. He wasn't sure how he was going to survive twenty-nine more. 

"One, Sir," he managed to say, breath hitching as he attempted to control his tears. James barely waited for Thomas' count before striking again.

"Two, Sir." 

Another slightly higher than the first two.

"Three, Sir."

"Four, Sir.

"Five, Sir."

Thomas' grip on the sheets tightened with each blow, the pain coursing through him, stronger than he'd ever felt. With each hit it became harder and harder for Thomas to keep count, his mind becoming muddled with pain and his voice catching in his throat. But he forced out the words, not wanting James to start over, knowing he wouldn't be able to manage it.

"Twenty-nine, Sir." Thomas had given up trying not to cry around hit fifteen and was fully sobbing at this point, tears soaking the bed underneath him. The final blow was the worst and as it landed on his bruised and surely bleeding ass Thomas screamed, barely remembering to choke out a "thirty, Sir" in between sobs.

Thomas didn't notice James moving behind him, he couldn't hear anything over the sound of his own sobbing even as he tried to muffle it into the bed. The feeling of his dominant grabbing his hair and pulling him up caused him to flinch violently, pulling away from James instinctively. 

But all that action did was earn him a slap across the face and James' grip tightening in his hair.

"Don't pull away from me," James growled, forcing Thomas to look at him. "You brought this on yourself. You knew the rules and chose to break them. If you'd just followed the rules this would have never happened." 

James pulled Thomas up, dragging him over to the corner and forcing him down to his knees facing the wall. Every movement sent sharp jolts of pain through Thomas' body, tears still streaming down his cheeks. 

"I've been kind to you, boy," James said, releasing Thomas' hair. "I could have been fucking you senseless and beating whenever I wanted. But I haven't and you repay that kindness by breaking the rules? Do you have anything to say for yourself?"

"I'm sorry, Sir," Thomas sobbed, shoulders shaking and hands trembling.

"I'm sure," James said, reaching down to grab Thomas' hands and pull them up to rest behind his head. "Stay exactly like this until I come to get you."

"Yes, Sir," Thomas whispered, listening as James left the bedroom and slammed the door shut behind him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... sorry?

**Author's Note:**

> [My tumblr](http://www.isnonstop.tumblr.com) if you want to talk.
> 
> Thanks so much to [notkai](http://archiveofourown.org/users/notkai/pseuds/notkai) for the name of the series!


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